Waleed Mowafi goes out. All out.
I’m not sure how they do it; whether they are genuinely in a constant state of contentment or they have the will power to ignore those dark worm-holes of thought which drag you down in to a state of complete disillusion. Every time I go out in Cairo I see the same faces smiling and dancing, laughing and conversing and I wonder: what they’re talking about? Perhaps they’re deliberating over some of Freud’s psychoanalytic theories to try and deduce meaning from their actions and behavior. If so, I want in! I need to understand this! I walk a little closer and hear something along the lines of ‘ la2 ya ma3alam, howa bos ya man, el moshkila ma3 deejays fi masr…‘ No, Waleed. This isn’t really working out for you.
I walk away and go sit down somewhere reasonably secluded and pretend to carry out to substantial tasks on my dilapidated Blackberry. People stare, but I think to myself: Don’t worry, they aren’t completely aware of your line of work. For all they know you could be sending a very urgent e-mail to a client of yours …at 2 in the morning. Yes, that sounds legit enough. They know you work ‘ In Internet’. Don’t worry, no one has to know you left at the peak of the party to go sit alone and play Word Mole on your phone and stare at people from afar wondering, what happened in your life to get you to this point.
The above series of thoughts and events often occur. As such ,last weekend I thought fuck it. You’re going out and will ignore the dark voices in your head and just dance around all night with a grin on your face. If you can’t beat them, perhaps it’s time to join them. Due to the political unrest in the country, most events were cancelled and most clubs shut their doors for the weekend. However, knowing that people were after a bit of good, old-fashioned monkey time, a friend of mine pulled through like a shining light at the last minute with a party at the club house of the 6th October compound in which he resides. Result!
I arrived in high spirits and was ready for shenanigans that lay ahead. I start drinking, as one does. One whisky turns to two. Two to three, as one does to let loose on a weekend. The guests start to show up en masse, as the noise makers take to the decks. Before I know it, it’s a recognisable sight. People laughing, dancing, clapping. Suddenly, I had an epiphany. Yes, this is what it’s about. I understand now. Escapism in its purest form. No need to microanalyze the idiosyncrasies of human behavior. It’s all about feeling the music, letting go and just being submissive to the fantastic mood and party surrounding me. Everything’s going to be alright, Waleed. I start high-fiving everyone I see. The stars are out, the moon is full and shining bright upon me like a spotlight as if to say, “Well done, Wally. tonight is your night. Good things are are coming your way. Everything’s going to be alright, kid.” I offer gratitude and thanks to everyone around me for being such great people. I feel confident and clear-minded. I’m king of the world!
I see an ex-girlfriend out of the corner of my eye. I had seen her earlier that night, but chose to ignore her as our last encounter was less than pleasant and we hadn’t spoken in months. With my recent epiphany, my new found happiness and appreciation life, I think to myself: Hey, it’s all water under the bridge, Wally. Everyone is happy and you can be happy too. No bad feelings here. No need to hold any grudges, the world is a beautiful place full of laughter, kindness and joy. I approach her and the following completely incoherent conversation occurs:
Me: Hey, how are you?
Her: *No response*
Me: Music isn’t too fucked up, hey?
Her: What? You’re not too fucked up?
Me: No, no, the music isn’t too fucked up.
Her: *Gives me a look that’s a cross between perplexity and bemusement*
Her: What exactly do you mean by that? What is classified as fucked up music? What are you saying???
I then proceed to do an awkward over-enthusiastic dance, without really finishing that sentence. My brain starts to wonder to a dark place. Confusion starts to fill my brain and pour out of my every orifice. I look around the dark club house. What is this? Why is everyone so happy? What are these uncontrollable grins on their faces? Humans are so fickle, unpredictable and precarious creatures. I start to feel disillusioned. I walk off, to send a VERY important e-mail….