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Why Macaulay Culkin is Awesome

Who'd have thunk it? Timmy Mowafi has developed a man-crush on everyone's favourite childhood star. But don't bash him until you've read it; it turns out the kid is alright.

Everyone knows the boy wonder for capturing the hearts of millions with his portrayal of Kevin McCallister in the Home Alone saga. This is not why Macaulay Culkin is awesome. In fact I kind of resent these movies because they gave my older brothers the insulting lines of “you’re such a disease!” and “you’re what the French call, les incompétents!”, which they continued to use on me until I was armed with enough ammunition for childhood insecurity. No, why Macaulay Culkin is awesome is because, while everyone reckons he lost the plot a bit after Home Alone and became a wash out, he actually became the most brilliant, hilarious, bat-shit crazy product of childhood stardom ever, and for the most part this brilliant-hilarious-bat-shit craziness has gone under the radar. Here, Macaulay Culkin is awesome-

His appearance in Michael Jackson’s Black or White video and subsequent lip-synced rap. I know those rap lyrics off by heart.

The Pagemaster. Possibly the greatest children’s movie of all time and completely underrated. It made me pick up my first actual novel.

Richie Rich. 

He clearly isn’t one of these post-childhood stars gagging for any resemblance of attention. If he wants to do a bit of heroin here or there, or 17.2 grams of maruajana, it’s his prerogative, he’s just living his life and not pandering to the media's tyrannical removal of nuances to create stories. The only times he returns to the limelight is usually when he’s doing a number. 

He bought a $2 million studio in Soho, New York and decided to invite the media to see his art, dressed up like some sort of Kurt Kobain/Jackie O hybrid for no apparent reason. A lot of his art has Nintendo and 90s references. "It’s almost self-referential in that we’re referencing ourselves when we’re referencing Hackers. It’s essentially a box within a box." Number.

Adam Green, if you don’t know him, is sort of a hipster super hero from New York; a musician, writer, artist and film-maker. Whilst watching The Wrong Ferarri, A Screwball Tragedy – A Film by Adam Green - a surreal nonsensical, cognitive journey of a movie shot by the man on his iPhone whilst on Ketamin, gues who turns up to star in it two minutes in? Macauley Culkin. Number.

He dated Mila Kunis for four years. Mila Kunis. Mila… Kunis.

He has just started a The Velvet Underground cover band called The Pizza Underground in which they change most of the lyrics to pizza and Culkin plays the Kazooo. International media all over it. Number.