7 Wacky Conspiracy Theories About Ancient Egypt
Sometimes, conspiracy theories are true. Most of the time, however, they're not.
Ancient Egyptian culture is absolutely fascinating: from mysteriously-build pyramids, to intricate hieroglyphs, to kings, queens and even a multitude of gods, it was quite a time to be alive. However, not everything our wise ancestors left behind is explainable today, 4000 years later, or as far as 7,000 years, should you believe some conspiracists.
This has lead to an array of off-the-wall (or flat-out insane) conspiracies that are still very much discussed today, not limited to but mostly on obscure internet forums by 40-year-old dudes who still live with their mom, sporting vast collections of History Channel tapes, and who may or may not have a substance problem. Not all conspiracies are grouped in the ridiculous category though; some conspiracies are highly-reasonable, others even plausible. So we’ll let you be the judge.
Ancient Egyptian Civilisation Could Be as Old as 7,000 years
These claims are based on the finding of an ostrich egg that’s now in display at the Museum of Nubia in South Egypt. This egg was found by British archaeologist Mallaby Cecil Firth in 1907, and according to researchers, it comes from the Nagada I culture, which is 7,000 years old. But here comes the crazy part; on the egg, among various other inscriptions, is the depiction of the pyramids. Wait a second. The pyramids of Giza are widely believed to be 4,500 years old. So how were they inscribed on such an old egg? Our history books might have been lying to us all along. You can see the "pyramids" on the egg at the far left of the photo.
Mainstream Egyptologists are not on the same page, though.
Our next conspiracy is one that was backed by one of the greatest minds ever, the late Stephen Hawking. On famous British reality TV show I’m a Celebrity!, Scarlett Mofatt claimed that the pyramids were built by someone from the future, which was completely ridiculed by her peers, who must’ve thought she was puffin’ on the cheeba or something. But not everyone was laughing. Legendary physicist Stephen Hawking was so impressed that he contacted her by e-mail, telling her that she might be right. Scarlett’s exact words were that “in order to travel back in time, we have to go faster than light. The speed of light is the same latitude point as the tip of the great pyramid [of Cheops]. The speed of light is like 319 and then loads of numbers, it’s exactly the same latitude point as the tip of the great Pyramid. So I think someone from the future realized we’d need the pyramids and went back in time and built them.” She was so serious about this that she actually contacted Hawking before going to the reality TV show, who initially failed to reply, but finally got in touch and admitted that this woman wasn’t absolutely nuts, and that her theory could very well be right. Make of that what you will.
Ancient Egyptian Pharaohs were Alien Hybrids
It’s likely that you’re familiar with the TV show Ancient Aliens, a staple of the stoner/conspiracy theorist community, which claims, among other more "complex" theories, that beings from another planet built the pyramids. It’s been argued for ages that ancient Egyptians would be unable to build the pyramids, a project which would still be highly challenging to undertake today. This led to a theory that advanced extraterrestrial lifeforms passed on their knowledge or created the monuments before civilization even emerged. British author, reporter, and specialist in pseudoscientific theories involving ancient civilisations Graham Hancock is an advocate of that theory. “How could the Egyptians have built their pyramid facing the exact magnetic North Pole without even having a compass? Those aliens, abundant in their knowledge and drowning in technology, came along and using their compasses, they landed on Earth and found the actual magnetic north and south poles. Then they built the pyramids”. Quite a leap there, Mr. Hancock.
Many other signs lead to this being a possibility; a set of coins that depicted a stereotypical grey alien and a flying saucer were found during a renovation in Egypt. The other coin appears to say “In due time." Ugh, creepy. It would’ve been a bit more plausible if the inscription wasn’t in Latin, though.
Also, hieroglyphics that show what appear to be boats, helicopters, and planes were uncovered at the Temple of Seti at Abydos. Check it out below.
Supersonic Levitation was Used to Build the Pyramids
According to ancient wisdom, the power of sound is almost supernaturally immense, and can be used to levitate and move large objects, if done in the correct technique.
In her book Acoustic Levitation of Stones: Monastery Construction, Tibetan Style, Author Bruce Cathie claims having witnessed Tibetan monks moving huge boulders with their voices and musical instruments. The precise location of musicians and singers was crucial for the “anti-gravity sonic effects” to work. Swedish engineer Olaf Alexanderson claims that “the knowledge of the various vibrations in the audio range demonstrates to a scientist of physics that a vibrating and condensed sound field can nullify the power of gravitation.” This had led many to believe that this must have been the way that the huge rocks used to build the pyramids were transported and placed on top of each other. As opposed to good old-fashioned slavery.
Ah, the wonders of sound.
The Great Sphinx is 800,000-Years-Old
The sphinx is truly an enigmatic monument. Until today, no one has been able to date it accurately, as there are no written records or mentions about it. But the water erosion visible on the big cat has led some to believe that the Sphinx is much, much older than we think. Two Ukrainian geologists argue that the erosion on the sphinx is not the work of wind and sand, but rather the work of waves in a time when Giza was flooded. They argue that the erosion pattern on the Sphinx looks like the erosion pattern on the Black Sea coast, which means we would need a water level at least 160 metres higher than the current sea level, and this only happened 700,000 years ago. That’s like ... 695,500 years older than we’ve been told. Who the hell are we supposed to believe anymore?
Ancient Egyptians had Supernatural Abilities like Telepathy and Telekinesis
Our old friend Graham Hancock believes that ancient Egyptian civilization was (surprisingly) much more different than it is today, as it was not primarily about material things. “But I love my iPhone!”, I hear you lament. Yes, we all love our mobile phones, as well as technology in general. And that’s what Graham is arguing; our civilization has gone the mechanical route, and we are highly efficient at that. But ancient civilisations, he says, chose a different route, more focused on the faculties of the human mind. This theory argues that they could read minds using telepathy, and even move objects with their minds using telekinesis, as we now know.
Humans today might have this ability, though our dependence on technology and material things have put this power to sleep. Let’s keep these abilities to sleep. If my boss could know what I was thinking, things wouldn't exactly end well.
The Cocaine Mummy: “Proof” that Ancient Egyptians traveled to the Americas
This one is an interesting one, cause traces of cocaine and nicotine were actually found amongst our ancestors’ mummies, so there is, at least, something concrete to go by. Did ancient Egyptians visit the New World? Were they trading papyrus for some of Pablo Escobar’s ancestors' perico?
One day, German scientist Dr. Svetla Balabanova was just minding her own business, doing what she she does best, studying the remains of a mummy. But this wasn’t just any mummy. This was Lady Henut Tai, a member of the ruling class. Wait, hold up. So cocaine was already an expensive drug, a thing of the elite, so to speak. Was ancient Egypt really that different from today?
Tobacco and coca plants were only found in the Americas at the time; but how was cocaine, a substance that wasn’t exported overseas until the 19th century, found in an ancient Egyptian mummy? Did ancient Egyptians really travel to the New World 3,000 years ago? Were they trading their resources for nicotine and cocaine? So even our ancestors were tweaking. What a relief.
It’s quite trippy to live in a mysterious land filled with this much mysticism, secrets, and unanswered questions. I mean, you even have a whole profession dedicated to this, Egyptologists. New findings happen all the time, and they can lead to some really wacky theories, but hey, who knows what really went down thousands and thousands of years ago?