Friday February 23rd, 2024
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In-Flight Entertainment

After realising that their alcohol-free flights were (how do we put this delicately) boring as fuck, Egypt Air decided to amp up their in-flight entertainment options. And passengers couldn't be more pleased.

Staff Writer

To kick off their new campaign, Egypt Air added some new reading material for their customers. Always on trend, the airline went straight for Egypt’s most popular publication, the FJP newspaper, to give passengers all the insider tips and tricks for fabulous living in the new Egypt. And because it’s the only newspaper anyone who is anyone is reading these days, Egypt Air decided that all other reading materials – except the safety brochure – were no longer of any interest to their soon-to-be most informed passengers in the world.

Then, in a moment of genius, Egypt Air decided that instead of showing dated films on their flights, they would re-interpret and re-enact dated films instead. First on the lineup was the brilliant – albeit obvious – choice of Snakes on a Plane. The live performance started when unassuming passengers, who were busy pouring through the pages of the newest issue of the FJP paper, were startled by the screams of a Jordanian passenger, who had been bitten by the snake he snuck into his carry-on.
Now we weren’t there, but we imagine the drama to have ensued as such: the Jordanian whipped his hand into the air, waved it around (snake still fang-deep in his finger) and begged for the FBI, or God, or whomever would listen. As the other passengers panicked, Samuel L. Jackson slayed the snake with a blowtorch and the Egypt Air pilot maneuvered an Academy Award-winning emergency landing at Hurghada, where we assume grateful passengers gave a round of applause for the authentic performance before everyone went for cocktails at Little Buddha.
So now the big question is, which film will Egypt Air re-enact next? Our money’s on Contagion.