Saturday 10 of December, 2022
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Egyptians Rank 5th in Reading

According to a recent index, we aren't illiterate after all...

Staff Writer

This may come as a shock to you all, but apparently…wait for it…Egyptians READ. According to the NOP World Culture Score Index, in a list of hours of reading per week per person, we made it right up there at number five, with an average of 7h30mins.

Let us all take a moment to let this monumental news to sink in because never in our wildest dreams would we have thought we'd be in the top five for anything, let alone reading. No wait hang on, that's not true. We'd easily dominate the competition if it was a list of hours spent sexually harassing women in the street. Actually, here are a number of lists where we're pretty sure we'd make the top five.

1.Hours spent sexually harassing women.

2.Hours spent stuck in traffic jams.

3.Hours spent tying hijabs into elaborate mountains atop one's head (applicable to women only).

4.Hours spent worshipping El Sisi.

5.Hours spent avoiding donkey carts in the street.

6.Hours spent eating.

But anyways, we did make it on a reading list, believe it or not. We were beaten out by India who claimed the number one spot, while the US of A, that shining beacon of 'we are better than everyone else' is totally lagging behind us at number 22.