Humble PM Bans Bottled Water

Just when you thought things couldn't get dirtier in Egyptian politics, the country's new cabinet are set to gobble down litres of Cairo tap water in a effort to seem more humble. Yes, that's right, former Mubarak man Ibrahim Mahlab has decided to ban bottled water in government buildings.He said: “This step emanates from my keenness to cut spending and share the average people their lifestyle.”

The move comes as part of a new scheme designed to ditch the government's trigger-happy dictatorship image in favour of a more 'man of the people' style charade. Think less Vladamir Putin more Hugo Chavez. One wonders how keen the former housing minster will be after spending the majority of his first week in office making use of the cabinet toilet facilties.

Meanwhile sources claim that the makers of anti-diarrhea drug Antinal are thrilled - a welcome boost to the economy, no doubt. In another gesture to win the public’s confidence and trust, Mahlab said he had cancelled the motorcades that typically accompany Egyptian premiers. He added: “I’ll move in one car only because I fear nobody but God.  I have confidence in the Egyptian security and realise well the necessity of working to regain the Egyptian citizen’s confidence.”

In all, the stunt is sure to ease Cairo's traffic problem - along with ministers' bowel movements.