Saturday 3 of December, 2022
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WTF Is A Store Named Hitler Doing In Downtown Cairo?

Why, oh why, would you name your store after the most infamously terrible person ever? Why?!

Staff Writer
Wandering through Downtown Cairo – whether window shopping or just taking in the sights of this historic district – you're bound to see some weird stuff - spooky mannequins garbed in outrageous lingerie, hilariously misspelled bootlegs, and overdressed people taking selfies in the middle of the street or by a garbage can. So there’s that expectation that you’ll see some weird stuff when you head to wust el balad (downtown). There is nothing you can do, however, to prepare yourself to round a corner and see a cute little boutique named Hitler.
Is it some kind of horrible situation where something was lost in translation? Like the word 'Hitler' sounds close to something that isn’t a god-awful name for a store, or anything thing else that isn’t, you know, Hitler himself. Naming your business after a person who is universally regarded as one of the worst people ever can’t have been on purpose, right? You’d think that. Until you see the sign and the quirky way it uses a Nazi swastika to dot the ‘i’ in Hitler. 
The name wasn’t an accident. The name was taken from a store in India that had the same Hitler theme. It’s not like they're a franchise or anything, so I wouldn’t hold out for your neighbourhood to get a Hitler anytime soon. The plan was to originally call the store '18+' in a ploy to attract attention, but apparently the owner’s partner thought his friend's inability to pronounce the letter ‘r’ was hilarious, so they jokingly name the place Hitler. I can think of at least a billion other words with the letter ‘r’ that would be a better name for a store than Hitler. Call the place Rumpelstiltskin, that would be funny to watch somebody try to say, and then you don’t look like a freaking Nazi. 
It's just a regular clothes shop until you notice the Hitler bags.
I’m sure the people who run the place are nice enough; or, maybe they’re Nazis, who knows. Calling your store Hitler, though, as well as having bags with the guy's face on them, is one way to make sure that people think you are terrible. But since the store seems to be doing well, perhaps there are enough awful people in Cairo who don’t mind carrying around shopping bags emblazoned with the visage of a murderous syphilitic despot with a micro penis
Keep on the lookout for our new electronics shop called Stalin’s, and a Syrian restaurant named after Bashar al-Assad.