Monday December 11th, 2023
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5 Baffling Things Egypt Loves

We're a strange bunch. Passionate, yes, but also really, really strange.

Staff Writer

Despite the international news media portraying us Egyptians as a nation of crazy haters, this could not be further from the truth. Egypt is a country of lovers. Sure we hate on things, but the list of things we love is so absurd and long that it outweighs the hate. 


The World Wrestling Entertainment is a baffling phenomenon in Egypt. Egyptians love it, even though it isn't a proper sport, but more of a soap opera. The fights aren't real and the outcomes are decided before weeks of choreography practice. Sure, sometimes something unexpected happens like, for instance, when Owen Hart fell from the rafters and split his head open on the turn buckle, subsequently dying but then again, they never aired the footage. What baffles us most is that very rarely are Muslim or Arab characters portrayed as Hhroes. Usually Arabs in the WWE are unattractive villains that know where every steel chair is hidden in the stadium. At the end of the day the love for it can't be explained, but diminishing brain cells of Egyptian youth can.


Egyptian love rotting fish. For some reason during Sham el Nessim, Egyptians everywhere begin mass consuming it. Is it pickled? Is it fermented? Is it expired? We aren't sure but if you tried to describe its taste you could use all three.

Unnecessary Honking 

Driving in Egypt requires a great deal of patience, anger management, and understanding the language of the horn. Anything can be conveyed with a horn, from telling someone you love them to insulting their mother. This should be really annoying for everyone, as the last thing one needs is even more noise. However, the second a car is dressed up for a wedding, Egyptians collectively lose their shit, as everyone begins honking, out of sync, even though they have no idea who's getting married.

Russian Fire Dancers 

One could argue that, literally, there is nothing that looks hotter than a Russian blonde dancing in a ball of fire. We aren't exactly sure what the appeal is. Is it because they are a half naked blonde? Or is it because of a secret fascination with fire? Chances are the real love for these women stems from the idea that if they have to do this for a living in Egypt, then Russia must really suck. There is nothing we love more than feeling better than an entire country.

Ruining Facebook


Egyptians love to ruin Facebook. The amount of garbage photos and silly status updates posted every second can be attributed as a global problem, not strictly Egyptian. Where we end up getting a bad name however, is anytime an Egyptian does something outside of Egypt. For instance, when Mohamed Saleh was signed to Chelsea, Egyptians everywhere Facebook bombed the football team's page. This can turn really ugly if someone does something that Egyptians disapprove of like when an American-Egyptian model won a beauty contest, and everyone decided to slander her because she served in the US army, deciding that she couldn't possibly represent Egypt.