Thursday June 1st, 2023
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Lace & Lingerie

We headed over to lingerie heaven La Vie En Rose to browse through lacy pretty things and find out what size our boobs really were courtesy of their Bra Clinic...

Staff Writer

The other day we received a lovely invitation to head over to lingerie heaven, La Vie En Rose, and get a personal bra fitting as part of their month-long Bra Clinic. The manager also asked for our personal home address to send us over a voucher (delivered to our doorstep? we felt so effing special!), which we were instructed to take to the shop and use to purchase a sexy bra after our fitting. Being lovers of both lingerie and freebies (not so much of women fondling our breasts with measuring tapes, but whatever) naturally, we excitedly gave our address, awaited our voucher with baited breath, and mentally planned out an entire day of trying on gorgeous lacy things and getting to leave with them.

We arrived home the day before we intended to go to La Vie En Rose, ripped open our DHL Express Delivery package, and the question on everyone's minds was HOW MUCH FREE LINGERIE ARE WE GETTING!?! Inside was a 20% gift voucher. Twenty. Percent.

We tried to understand the rationale behind their "present." They went through the extensive effort of sending a DHL package. D.H.L. EXPRESS DELIVERY. EXPRESS! All for a 20% gift voucher. Listen here, La Vie En Rose, you are a multinational lingerie company. You have invited the press to a bra fitting and you have promised them a voucher. 20% does not a voucher make. We went anyway.

We strolled into the beautiful store, displaying row after row of pretty lacy things. A kindly lady then took to measuring our boobs, which turned out to be less invasive a process than we thought; just a tape measure used once directly under your boobs and once straight around them. There was no fondling or anything. Just in case you didn’t know, the numerical (32/34/36/38) part of your bra size is the circumference of that nameless part of your waist right below your boobs. The cup size (A/B/C/D) is the actual size of your boobs. Fun fact of the day.

After discovering that we'd been wearing the wrong size bra for the majority of our lives, we decided that that still wasn’t enough to make us spend money on what we'd been led to believe was a freebie experience.  Having said that, the store did boast some beautiful bras, underwear, lingerie and baby dolls, even adorable nighties and pajamas.

We went through the endless racks of boobie-beautifyers lining the walls. La Vie En Rose has something for everyone, from sports bras, to bras that are slightly lined but have no underwire (which translates to: you wear them when you're chilling at home with male friends and you don’t want to wear a bra but it would be inappropriate to just forgo one altogether). They had row upon row of sexy lacy things, pushups with gel inserts that feel like real boobs, multi-strap contraptions perfect for a myriad of dresses, and even possibly the most adorable thing we’ve been in a while – bridal lingerie that has a cute little veil on the back of a thong. Adorbs. Not that we'll be needing that any time soon, but you know, doesn’t hurt to hope. Maybe if we'd bought the bridal undies, and then proceeded to wear them for someone, a proposal would have been imminent? 

Anyway, despite the fact that we didn’t get a freebie we'll probably be paying La Vie En Rose another visit. We didn’t purchase anything his time just as a show of protest, but their stuff is so darn pretty we aren’t sure how long we can hold out. Whether you're looking for useful t-shirt bras or lace and silk setups, they've got you covered.