Eid in Gouna? Yes, Please!

It's never too early to start thinking about Eid plans. After all we all await the holiday with bated breath, eager to finally escape work and the smog-infested city and go become beach bums and/or have consecutive drunken days and be able to sleep in until noon. And as an unofficial national rule, we Cairenes flock to Gouna time after time, Eid after Eid. That seaside spot that's fuelled by shenanigans and indiscretions. The place where inhibitions go to die, where your veins are flowing with vodka, and your mood is in a constant state of elevation – which in retrospect is probably because of all that vodka. Yeah, it's always a good time.

So in the spirit of facilitating good Gouna times, Excel Travel, who in the past have pulled together some seriously good (and budget-friendly) packages to the likes of Spain and Italy, have made it their mission this time around to get you to Gouna stress-free. Gouna trips always go a little something like this; where are we staying? I can't find a good apartment! How do we know the facilities are good? What if it's rat-infested? Shit, the hotels are all fully booked. Shit, the only hotel rooms left cost the equivalent of what I'd sell my kidney for. Shit, the only hotel rooms available that I can actually afford look like they'd have rooms similar to the chokey in Matilda. WHAT DO WE DO?!

What you do is make your life infinitely easier and book Excel's Gouna Eid trip, which features a four-day stay in Club Paradiso for only EGP 1,575 per person in a double room. If you're familiar with Gouna's rates over the high season that is Eid, you'll be thanking your lucky stars to have found such a good price at all, let alone in a totally charming beachfront hotel.

Though our love for Gouna is undying and unparalleled, we have a bone to pick with the fact that if you're staying in an affordable hotel, or apartments, your beach access is pretty much limited to that stretch of sand around Moods, and as soon as you get in the water your feet sink into squishy oily sand – not a fabulous feeling.

Club Paradiso, true to its name, has a gorgeous virgin stretch of beach in front of it – like, legitimately beautiful and with perfect white sand. It almost makes you want to spend the entire time on that secluded beach and not frequent the wild pool parties that are Gouna's signature. Almost. The hotel's also got water sports for those interested. Now personally, while on holiday, we treasure laziness above all and the only thing that could get us to move our butts is the promise of alcohol or food, but that's probably why our backs ache like the elderly and we wheeze when we climb two flights of stairs. Healthy, active people who do things like kite-surf will appreciate the water sports on offer.

What we appreciate most about the hotel though is it totally facilitates our lazy, sloth-like nature. While apartments, rented or owned, are great and all, hotels mean there's someone to clean up after you! Now having been raised as the pampered children (read spoiled little shits) that we are, we shy away from anything remotely related to cleaning up after ourselves. Obviously this feeling multiplies while we're on holiday. So hotels mean you can trash the room, and return to find it pristine. Apartments mean you have to clean. And we're never in a mood to be fishing hair out of the shower drain. Plus the rooms at Club Paradise are actually adorbs.

So anyway, we suggest you get booking before this too runs out and you're screwed for Gouna accommodations come Eid. Also, hotel breakfasts. That's all.

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