Thursday July 25th, 2024
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Ew, Blogs.

Life is hard. Blogging is harder.

Staff Writer

Ew, Blogs.

Can I just say how much I hate blogs? I hate all of mine just as much as I hate the rest of them. This hatred is rendered void by my endless well of vanity and the justifications it offers every time I cringe. You must understand I do this because I have people in my life that don’t shut up because they’re being “encouraging” or “motivational” regardless of how many times I hang up the phone or delete their texts. Plus, I really have little better to do with my time, so I’m constantly running out of excuses.

Do you know how hard it is to think of something week in and week out? Especially when everyone else writes blogs that make you want to shoot yourself? Also, you never want to think that you might be in someone’s suicide note, especially considering how many people/things/concepts are in mine.

Sometimes it’s super easy and God gifts you with an Elham Shaheen breakdown. I’m still obsessing over her performance and have watched this (thanks to @SherifNagib) about 50 times in the last week. But then I was in a complete void of ridiculous and fun things. But what do you do when Elham doesn’t assault the TV screens of the nation? How do I top Elham?

Do I write about my feelings? Do I tell you that on Friday morning I encountered my first cockroach of the summer (on my foot. Right when I woke up. I screamed like a little bitch)? Do I take more screenshots?

I don’t even know what channel this is. These are constant shows where people call in to win credit and laptops. I think the remote is possessed.

WTFace at its finest. Love this bitch. Mainly because her name is Fadia (is it?) and she’s rocking a Rihanna weave. Also, what happens to all their chins? If you’re going to get THAT MUCH plastic surgery, your turkey neck would be a priority, no?

But that’s super repetitive and let’s be real, they are rendered obsolete when compared to Elham. Do I rant about how horrible it smells everywhere in Cairo? Or that I feel dirty half way through my shower? Do I complain that getting the simplest task done in this country takes two days? Do I jinx myself and tell you the electricity hasn’t cut off once in my house? Do I lie and pretend it has? Do I time myself while drawing to finally get rid of the question “how long did that take you to do?” once and for all? (I actually did do that. I was super bored and it is Ramadan and I cannot tell you how annoying of a question this is and I am constantly asked by anyone who ever meets me. This took 45 minutes to outline in pencil, an hour and a half to paint the dress/figure and about 45-50 minutes for the background. It is A4 sized and I tracked everything with a BBM conversation. How’s that for technology? Also, what a fucking boring blog.)

I won’t do any of those things. I will tell you blogging is a horrible thing. It is self-indulgent, narcissistic, almost always boring (I am guilty of all of the above) and nobody usually ever cares. Except when it comes to Elham Shaheen; then it’s for the greater good of mankind.