Thursday September 28th, 2023
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Egyptians are Miserable


Staff Writer

It doesn't take a clairvoyant to know that there's been a negative energy shrouding Egypt over recent years. Whether you want to blame it on the pyramids working as a mystical magnetic vortex of despair, political and social unrest, lack of infrastructure in every sector or, more likely because KFC discontinued the Shrimpo, we just don't have that spring in our step that a million Egyptian spin-offs of the 'Happy' video would make you believe. In fact, those videos were depressing in and of themselves, only serving to highlight our lack of creativity.

Thankfully, here's a glimmer of hope: our misery is now official! According to analysis by the Cato Institute, Egypt ranked as the sixth most miserable people in the world with a main factor being unemployment which bodes even worse for the millions of people employed and complaining about their miserable nine to fives. There's yet another silver lining though, as Jamaica ranked above us on the misery scale which means our industrial consumption of hash actually makes us happier then there's of ganja.

So next time you're sitting in Saleh Salem, ruing the miserable traffic and you see that electronic board which shows the countries' incredibly quickly growing population, just be safe in the knowledge that misery does in fact, love company.