Sunday July 21st, 2024
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Here's Why You Were Stuck in Traffic for 5 Hours this Morning

The streets are royally screwed and we’re contemplating living at the office from now on.

Staff Writer

Here's Why You Were Stuck in Traffic for 5 Hours this Morning

If you’ve had the raw misfortune of having to brave Cairo’s streets in the past couple of days, you may have noticed something different about traffic; like how it’s fucked into a standstill. Surprisingly though, it’s not for the reasons we’re used to; Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince Mohamed bin Salman is paying our humble little Cairo a grand old visit – his first official visit abroad after being crowned in June of last year.

The Prince is only visiting our beloved Egypt for 3 days, before jetting off to Britain and then the US in an effort to court investors after a particularly rough time in Saudi's history. The visits in Cairo are primarily aimed at strengthening bilateral relations, enhancing both investment and economy (dolla dolla bills) as well as figuring out how to go about all those pesky crises running amok in the region. It has not, however, been very positive (read: horrific) for folks trying to get through the morning slog over to the workplace; with security being tighter than our senior writer’s belt (too much Kazaz), roads are backed up all over Cairo, especially on frequently used bridges, intersections and other things covered in asphalt and broken dreams.

We’re not going to advise telling your boss that you’ll be late for the coming few days (Japan we aren't), but do make an effort to leave a bit earlier for work and maybe use the metro, only to inevitably stay stuck like the rest of us, promptly get fired and live out your life as a starving poet by the Nile. Unless you work from home, in which case; we don't like you.