Saturday July 20th, 2024
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Qatar Bans Sexy Scents

Fans of Playboy aftershave and Victoria's Secret body splashes will be disappointed as Qatar moves to ban scents which do not represent their “customs, traditions and religious values." Here are some other perfumes they should be afraid of...

Staff Writer

Qatar Bans Sexy Scents

In a recent display of ludicrous fanaticism, Qatar has taken to banning perfumes whose titles they’ve deemed, well…just titles that don’t toe the religious line. A number of perfumes and body lotions with names that are not in congruence with religious principles have been taken off the shelves by authorities after they received complaints about these blasphemous scents. Think Victoria’s Secret’s Strawberries & Champagne body lotion. Clearly, even reading the title will get you giddy on bubbly. IT’S BASICALLY LIKE YOU DRANK ALCOHOL OKAY?

The Ministry of Economy and Commerce took to Twitter to explain that the items seized were not in line with the “customs, traditions and religious values” of the nation. Yup, yup, obviously reading the word champagne on a plastic bottle will shoot you straight to hell. Among the items seized was a bottle featuring the Playboy bunny logo. Now, yes, at a mere glance, visually it may just look like an innocuous bunny... BUT if you trace it back it represents the infamous men’s magazine filled with lascivious images so like, seeing the bunny is basically the equivalent of looking at naked women.

Qatar authorities have in the past cracked down on the sale of perfumes, but the issue revolved around the ingredients and not the packaging. Back in 2013, the Ministry of Environment announced stricter regulations on the sale and import of perfumes. In an effort to control prevent alcohol use, authorities issued some rules including the following. You can choose to ignore our subsequent commentary.

All perfumes should be sold in bottles with a spray nozzle. Because obviously, if there isn’t a spray nozzle, you will be faced with a population of people just chugging perfume for the meagre alcohol content.

At least one ingredient should be added to make it unfit for drinking. Yes, because most perfumes are generally rather drinkable. In fact, when faced with Sprite or perfume, we don’t even know what to choose!

Items should feature a warning advising users that the product is for “external use only” in both English and Arabic. Y’know, in case people think intravenously injecting perfume is the way to go.

Anyway, considering Qatar’s track record so far, we can only imagine there is a much longer list of perfumes ready to be banned based on their names.

Addict by Dior

This name will surely encourage drug use. 

Alien by Thierry Mugler

There’s no such thing as aliens. 

Forbidden Affair by Anna Sui

Are you kidding us? An affair? Do we look like the sort of nation that would allow names with such rampant heresy to prevail?

Angel by Thierry Mugler

La2 la2 la2. Thierry Mugler da bayen enno kafer begad. 

Opium by Yves Saint Laurent


Every Jean Paul Gaultier perfume ever.

The bottle’s shape is almost akin to porn. Cover your eyes. COVER YOUR EYES!!! We must shield our children from such sinful blasphemy.