Lovely Lady Lumps

The Black Eyed Peas once said: my humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps. On an unrelated note - the Middle East's camel beauty contest is back! Thousands of men flock to the Liwa desert, on the UAE, close to the borders with Qatar, every year to witness the annual camel beauty fair, where the beast with the hottest humps can fetch millions of dollars.

Visitors happily admit that they consider the winning camels more beautiful than their wives, and indeed any other woman. Now, while we haven't seen their wive, it's easy to see that these camels ooze sex appeal as they are kitted out with luxuriant ornaments, and even receive expensive beauty treatments like lip fillers and fake eyelashes to give them an edge. And even the spread of Middle East Respitory Syndrome virus - linked to camels - can't stop the party.

Speaking about the event camel mogul Ben Souaed claims his 50-strong herd has given him a winning edge for years. He said: "I have beautiful camels. I have over 50, others only have 20-30.  I have spent $23million on buying good camels." Boasting of a prize winning beast called Wahaida, he added that "Her colour is nice, her measurements are good and she always wins number one spot."

As well as beauty rounds, the animals are pitted against each other in races, while their owners compete in milking contest. One camel enthusiast featured explains the obsession felt by many attendees. He said: "I personally see camels as more beautiful than women, horses and all other animals. None of them are equal to a string of camel hair."

Another simply gestured to his favourite and said: "Sexy, yeah?" We can hardly contain ourselves.