How to Score an Instant One Night Stand: The Art of Seduction

Before I say anything at all, I must make a few things clear. First, I do not condone one night stands as a lifestyle. This has nothing to do with morals, to each his own, but be warned: it is a rather lonely, empty road. That said, we must be realistic and admit to ourselves that having one sporadically can be loads of fun, refreshing, and perhaps for some people a necessity.

Second, the definition of ‘instant’ here means dedicating approximately three hours on average to the process, which starts with the hunt, and ends with finding a partner who wants you too. Preparations and the actual act do not count in those three hours. Some people can take less time, others longer, and it has little to do with you and more to do with luck.

Thirdly, women will always have it easier than men here. If you’re a man you will need to exert more effort for the simple reason that women generally speaking, are not as interested in one night stands as men are, with few exceptions. If you’re gay you have it easier than heterosexuals because you have the head start of understanding the general gender psychological makeup. In other words you have the blueprint. Also there tends to be a sense of comradery, which tends to be a turn on.

Before Undertaking a Hunt Make Sure You Have the Following:

Dressing Up by Pino Daeni

Unshakeable self-confidence

Be meticulously showered and groomed

A condom. Don’t risk your health and others’ health.

Honesty to yourself and the person you find.

Dress attractively.

Smell good.

Have a general plan about where you’re going to hunt, a back up plan and, if you find someone, where you’re going to go afterwards. Cars are out of the question.

Respect! Yes, it may be a one night stand, but lack of respect for your potential one night stand lover is your recipe for failure. If you’re a chauvinistic pig who feels entitled to a sexual life, while labouring under the belief that women who do the same are sluts, not only are you a degenerate intellectually challenged asshole, but you’re also setting yourself up for big time failure. On the other hand, if you’re a vain woman who feels entitled simply because you’re a woman, you are underestimating men who are just as multilayered as you are, and you will end up with someone desperate. In short, you will end up with an exact copy of the image you have in mind. So be careful.

Absolute No-Nos:

No blunt approaches (unless you have a special talent or superpower this will take you to a dead end).

No self-doubt, self-judgement, or self-hatred. If you have any of these, do not do it. Work out your issues first.

NO CARS!

No selfishness. This is about pleasure. So be prepared to please and be pleased.

Don’t be or act desperate. Turn off.

The Hunting Grounds

Painting of Ron Jaworsky Super Bowl Cigar Party by Frenchy

Obviously the easiest thing you can down is go on the Tinder app. Again easier said for women than men. Be prepared to be on the app for a long time before you secure a match who is online at the same time. Talk back and forth, decide if you want them or not, and meet for a quick coffee/drink in public first.

However there is indiscriminate pleasure in going on a real hunt.

Pick one or three places to head to that evening. You might be perfectly happy in one, or it might not be alive that night and you'll need to go elsewhere. Avoid hotel bars, they are not as vibrant, and tend to be surrounded by cops who are desperate for action and are talented in setting up fake charges.

Go to places that are happening, and have a lot of people intermingling rather than sticking together in tight groups. Clubs and bars are a great idea, so are big house parties.

Bar Senora by Lienzo

Identify Potential Mates

If you know people at the place, which is preferable since that makes you seem social and known, say your hellos, and get them out of the way, get yourself a drink, and scan the area. Look for people who appeal to you, and try to find more than one.

Establish eye contact with targets, several times, but not too many times making you seem creepy. If they find you appealing, or you catch their interest, you will find you are exchanging subtle glances back and forth. This is where you need to take action. Most people never get past that phase. They continue to exchange shy glances all night long waiting for something to happen, or that ‘chance’ that will never come, and end up going home alone.

Take a Shot

Do something, anything…a nice smile with a cock of the head, raise your glass, or cup and maintain eye contact and smile, wave…just do something about it! Improvise with everything at your disposal, chat up lines in your head, comments on the music, ask for a lighter, just use your imagination.

Act based on their reaction. It is a bit tricky because you might make the action while the person is about to look away, so they never actually see you which is obviously really awkward. Or you might say something and they don’t hear you. So in order to overcome this tricky situation be assertive and clear. Do not hesitate.

Tap them on the shoulder and ask them any question even if it’s too crowded to have subtle exchanges across the room. If they’re interested the conversation will keep going. If not, you will know. Fine-tune your gut instinct. Move on and be casual about it. Don’t exert extra effort at the start, save that until you find the right reciprocating mate.

Romantic Soft Woman Sweet Repose by Pino Daeni

Display Yourself as a Target

It’s not just about hunting, but about allowing yourself to be hunted too. Be a good sport about it and focus on the end result whichever way it comes. Unless hunting is your main mission regardless of outcome, which is rather silly, but hey who am I to judge, make sure your body language communicates that you are out to have fun. So if you are alone, this means move around, look around, talk to people left and right regardless of gender, enjoy the music, dance or even just move your head to the music. If you sulk at the bar and stare into your drink, you won’t get anywhere. Don’t hope for some compassionate saviour to come to you and sweep you out of your misery. That makes more of a movie scene than real time action.

On the other hand, don’t be too crazy or clownish to attract attention. You will attract attention, but of the wrong kind. You might be amusing, or interesting to people, but you will not score or be scored, unless a fellow clown is in the house or someone with a very specific, or rather flexible sense of humour.

You are not looking for a lifetime partner, so being yourself is not relevant here. Being appealing to a many people as possible is your target. So be normal, confident, and generic.

General State of Mind

You need to focus on chemistry and desire, more than logic here. So literally follow your gut instincts, and raw passion, not your mind. Turn off the part of your brain that tries to calculate long term compatibility. Focus on the now. Ask yourself ‘can I see myself in this person’s arms tonight?’ If the answer is yes, do it. If it’s a maybe, either explore the person more until you are sure, or take another round of the place and decide later.

Let down your guardedness and inhibitions.

Actual Wooing and Being Wooed Process

Connoisseurs Party for Two Art Deco Wine Painting by K. Madisson Moore

As soon as the momentum of a conversation picks up with someone, immediately get out of the friend zone. This depends a lot on body language. Look out for random touches on the arm, maintaining continuous eye contact, laughing with your head back, shy smiles, subtle sexual innuendos, and just keep it building up in intensity. Don’t let things get flat, but you can excuse yourself and make a round and come back later in order to ignite a sense of mystery and intrigue: Where did he/she go? Did he/she lose interest? Are they coming back? Should I go after them? All these questions will escalate the sexual tension between the two of you. Once you meet again, take things to higher levels: dance, whisper random secrets in each others’ ears, and be sensual.

Don’t talk too much about yourself or ask too many personal questions. Don’t get into politics, religion, current affairs or any mood dampeners. Focus on the fluffy side of life; favourite colours and what they mean, star signs, books, movies travel, spots in Cairo that are unique, you know: happy positive stuff. Talk about sensual experiences, life, and dreams. Elaborate things about you that you know are a turn on. If you don’t know what they are ask your friends. If you have no friends, abandon ‘mission one night stand’ and make friends instead. Seriously.

Be clear about your intentions, but always, ALWAYS be flexible. Who knows, your one night stand might just be something more. Don’t limit your options, ever.

Also, don’t go out straight and say you’re looking for a one night stand. Be subtle. Drop lines like ‘I’m not ready to settle but I love exploring the sensual world’ and shit like that. Be creative and eloquent.

Tune in to your target’s mood, and try to impart a bit of your mood on them. That way you make the essential connection that will take you where you want to be.

Do not use dirty tactics like manipulation, and tuning in to vulnerabilities. It might backfire somehow, besides, it’s cheap. Always maintain dignity, self respect and respect for your partner and other humans in general. It is a very attractive trait and an incredible turn on.

Although practice makes perfect, eventually, your passion will fade. We’re human and we inevitably crave deeper connections even if we avoid them for whatever stupid but major issues we have with ourselves or the rest of the human race. So be passionate and sensual and do seek pleasure, but always keep an eye out for better possibilities and connections.